Saturday, August 8, 2009

forgiveness forgiveness even if even if

Ok, I am tracking down an evidence of a kind so if you don't hear from me be patient. I won't be answering emails so just be patient with me. I was listening to Don Henly this morning from the Bridge Collection, a throaty version of Heart of the Matter;

I'm learning to live without you now
but I miss you sometimes
and the more I know
the less I understand
all the things I thought I knew
I'm learning again
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
but my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
and I think it's about forgiveness forgiveness
even if, even if you don't love me anymore


Mad On
It must be confusing for someone who loves me
I can go weeks even years and be just fine
and then a mad on will pass over me like a storm
and suddenly surrounded by thunder and lightning'
I decide to change my life.
I wake up and the status quo won't do
Today I am opening new windows
and decide whether I am climbing out on the ledge
or just getting a new view
and on the ledge today the ground seems far away
and the little birds are looking for my wings
oh those wings flew away with any kindness in my soul today
There's not much room for tenderness
when you're charting a course
Drake didn't love the sea but he respected the under current
Amelia rode the wind until she crashed and burned
she didn't have even one more big break
I'm not even sure they looked for her
they just shrugged and said "one crazy girl she was"
I sat on ancient steps this morning and wondered
why doesn't one quit when the seas are smooth?
Who turns the sail?
I do.
I stood up, ice coffee in hand like a flash light
faced the sun and said softly
"hell, I do."
It's the gift I give my child and the people who love me
the courage to change courses so they know it's all
the rhythm of the world.

There must have been moments
when Columbus thought about throwing himself over the side
the tastiest snack of the circling sharks
Those sharks will tell him "we love you baby"
"we are only here for you."
I wonder when he saw land if he was elated
or if he was just afraid to start all over again.


The calendar days are flying off and floating above the ground like a butterfly. Take part of today and make it your own know that life is but a brief glimpse of the universe. God loves me today, he keeps me safe. He keeps my son on course, he shouts at me when Best Friend Laughs, he heals a heart hurting in whispers and he reminds me sometimes the treasures of the sea are such a delight. Everything can change in a new york minute if you believe.

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