Missing Someone

Missing Someone


You can miss someone before you even know them
their absence can leave a hole in your life
and you wait knowing that surely out there
on some twinkling star in the swirl of some blue wind
maybe in a bookstore he'll look up from a book you'd never read
and you could have a conversation you've been waiting
to have since you were old enough to know that someone
out there somewhere
could finish your sentences
You could say "I want your hand"
and he'd whisper "on your throat. I know baby"
and you could get on with the rest of your life
check off finding someone who gets it and who doesnt mind
that you are a silly girl because sometimes
he likes when you're just a little bit silly
and I will always be the girl who wants to fill the
world with silly love songs

In the background you could hear the rain hitting the awning
and later when you hear it again and again
when you try to capture those moments
because when you aren't sure what it is just yet
you want to hold on to each of those moments
and play them again like they were a magical flute
and the song if you heard it again
could conjure love
"I don't know if you will listen to this today
on the way home or five days from now."
and your heart full of stale spring air
just waiting in the garden wringing out blood
minding it's own business
wondering where you'll plant the sunflowers
and tasting the sauce on your tongue from
those tomato plants
Your stale heart
feels this cool breeze blow in and the sky
turns pea green and the air gets very still
before the tornado hits and it's suddenly so cool
you don't need to flip the pillow
you hear a bee buzz and its all changed
the trees are uprooted
the air is clean
wondering if you really did see a cow fly by your head
just being there he fixes it
washes off the dust of winter worries
and if you lean your head back far enough
yes his hand is there
because God made your neck his safe place
or maybe not so safe

It's easier to stand at the edge and look down
when you can feel his arm around your waist
the view is so beautiful
I'll wait to see the green in the sky
for the air to get very still
and somewhere in Indiana an alarm is screaming
people are seeking cover
auntie Em is heading to the storm cellar
I will be waiting feeling my breathing change
and his hand slide over my left hip
his tongue will taste like raw oysters
I am so close to believing if you dream of something
it can happen
if you wait
it will arrive
the appointed hour
when you are in the right place
and room in your heart
hearing your mother tell you stories
about what men are supposed to be
when you can hold them in a whisper
and you just let go